Mother-hood

So yesterday I was tested to the point where I might of failed if Jermaine wasn't around. Wanting to have children and being a caring nurturing mother is two very different things. The first year of life you are so wrapped up with the beauty that u have made a person. A beautiful, counting on u always and loving u till forever and ever. Even though u go months in the beginning with two hours of sleep you become accustom to it. At the year mark you don't even look back on those times. People ask hey how are you holding up and you say it's great. Then you baby starts to sleep more than two hours, your so proud. Then she finally sleep her first overnight. Omg!! Let's have a party u think. Lol. Now this is where I am at. I have always helped my daughter all asleep. Rocked nursed kisses sung anything so I can also get some shut eye. Well two days ago I said lets go back to the pack and play!! It's in my room so I'm not pushing my baby too far. Even though her room is about 6 steps from my bed. Lol. Well yesterday I put her In her pnp at 8:45. She knocked out in the pack n play @ 9:15. I thought success. !!! Well last night was a nightmare. I don't know y, and because I don't want to jump to conclusions I have to wait till I get home to talk to Jermaine. He has been watching her n helping her back to sleep when she wakes up at night. I wake up, don't look at the clock just know its late Jermaine is talking to Sam but she's not having it. I asked him if he wanted me to take over. She was calling mama. So I tried to reason with her (Samaya is a very smart 20 month old) she understands sleep, her bed, mommas bed and a lots more) so that doesn't work she's still crying. I ask her if she would like to sleep in the air bed with momma. She said yes. We lay down she wants to lay her head on mine not the pillow or bed ugh!! It doesn't work. I tell her I'm puttin her in her crib bc She's not going to sleep and I want her to be safe. I put her in the crib and go to bed. She is still crying but then I hear a THUMP. She jumped out of the bed/CRIB!!!!!! Wtf???!!! When did my sweet girl turn into a crazy monster. I'm so confused. And sad. And of course Jermaine jumps outta the bed and says I'm crazy. But how the hell did I know she was gonna do that?! I look at my cell it's 5:15AM. Omfg I need sleep. I work tomorrow, she keeps calling out of momma and bobos (code for nursing) so I finally give in and nurse her she falls asleep within 5 minutes. And we are all back at step one. I never thought motherhood came with such challenges. I know many moms and they don't talk about this crazy stressful stuff. It's just mind boggling. Super sad and confusing for both/ all of us. I don't know what will work for us in aiding samaya off of our bed but I am still looking and will continue tryin I just can't do CIO it breaks my heart to hear my daughter crying. Maybe I'm weak maybe u might say she runs me. I don't care. I know that my child is kind, caring, loving and very smart so there has to be something WE are doing right.
Being a parent isn't about following a book it's about mistakes and how we correct them. It's about adjusting you plans at 5 in the morning. And making sure your child is number one at all times and I know that is what my daughter is to me. #1 always.


I waited and re-read this one post for a long time. This was a learning. The for me, and by far the toughest. I'm come to c that what works for me won't work for everybody. My daughter Samaya will be 2 in august we still share my bed at night. For day naps she will fall asleep on her own in her crib, but at night. Yeah right. I can say, she's almost two and we still might nurse and 1st thing in the morning, again this works for us. Not everyone. I will continue with it until it no longer works for us. Goodnight

day 9

It isn't easier, I thought hey by day 9 you would be flying thru this, well this goes to show how off I was ... Maybe im extra tired bc i have also been dealing with cramps from hell! But, whatever no excuses I will continue to push thru even if it take me 30 days to feel like I can finally move to level 2, but I will take my time and move at my pace, It's not like I want to lose 50 lbs I just want to tone my body. So that may take as much or as little time as it needs. I am enjoying working out! I really do love it! I also just purchased the get ripped in 30, maybe when I'm done with this one I can move onto that! :)

Day 7

Omg, so about my menstral period being light, yeah right! This is killing me! I want to crawl in a box n stay there for as long as possible. I have to remove the Iud, the cramps that I am going thru is insane and like nothing I have ever felt before. I didn't work out this morning. I'm hoping to workout once I get back home from work, but last nights workout was hard, even the basic jumping jacks n the push ups had me pushing myself. I hope these cramps don't last much longer or get in the way of my workouts. Here's to hoping this will pass soon and I won't have to deal with it until next month. Oh gap has a casting all going on right now. I couldn't help myself but to add my baby girl. I hope she gets it. This is the pic I used of Samaya Nina, I love it.

Day5

I'm so proud of myself, didn't think i would even make it to day 5! Here we are and I'm feeling good, its funny bc I have my period and last months period I wanted to die, I even scheduled an appt to remove my paraguard bc the pains were so strong and the duration was so long, but here I am this month on day 3 of my very light period with very minimal cramping pain... maybe working out is helping that? who knows, all I know is that this is working I can see myself not fighting thru the entire workout, I can see the end near when I am feeling like I wanna quit! I will continue to do this, I hope that next week I can add more abs wrk out three times a week after this 30 day shred but I wont promise anything bc I enjoy doing this in the morning or mid afternoons I hate working out at night... maybe I can split it up and do abs at night that way better than cardio after I've been in heels for over 8 hrs! well I know its a small celebration but I am excited and proud I've made it to day FIVE!!!!

-fyi for some reason abs today were a bit difficult, like I felt the muscles really working today :) 

Day 4

Day 4 completed... So happy I have kept up with this! I'm excited, today I added 5 lbs weights but that was way too much. I need to stick to my chef boyrdee cans bc my arms are burning, almost to the point where I really wanted to quit! But whatever, also another thing, night workouts are NOT for me! I have to workout in the morning! So on that note, see you tomorrow day 5.

Day 3

Nope I haven't forgotten, but last night was a tough night. My daughter was up at 2am wanting to eat yogurt n bananas, your thinking well that not bad give the girl some food, well she didn't go back to be until almost 4 am. An even then it was fighting me n Jermaine. So I told myself I wouldn't freak out n just do my workout after work. Yes it's alot harder for me to find time but tonight I will have to. So day 3 u started with a twist but I will find time to get my workout on. C u later with my mini after workout post :)

Day 2 30 day shred

I feel sore! Everything hurts, but i stuck thru it this morning woke up at 7am and got my workout in! I feel my muscle achy, but i hope i can go forward with this. Todays workout wasn't too hard im still at level one, the push up got easier but the weight training with the weights is horrible, my arms hurt the most, I also work today and oh my, that wont be fun.
Im off to wrk!

30 day shred starts today!!

Hi everyone, Michele here,
I know i haven't posted in forever and a day but with a full-time job, 19 month old baby, two dogs and a boyfriend life gets in the way! :) But today i have just completed my first day of 30 day shred, I am following it thru YOUTUBE! I think its very doable for mothers who don't have 1-3 hours available for the gym. I am doing this at home in my living room with no shoes on! ( i don't have running sneakers and as for weights i am using my favorite chefboyrdee spaghetti with meatballs (haha better than me eating it right)!! It is hard i will not lie the push up are by far the hardest for me, I love the jumping and cardio but HATE with a passion strength training UGH!!! But i will stick it thru it's only 30 days and less than 30 min a day! I will try to do them every morning before i go to work, but on my days off i will do them after breakfast! I think its this a great starting program for me because i haven't exersice since before Samaya was born 2010 and i did okay! Hope to keep you guys posted on my routine by blogging everyday, it will also keep me motivated. My measurements before working out today were as follows

Natural waist 29 inches
Tummy 34 inches
Thighs 21 1/2 inches
Chest 34 1/2 inches
Arms 9 3/4 inches

i will be posting pictures of me before and after just have to take them, Im not in horrible shape i only weight aprox 130 lbs, and im 5 4" but the thing is i have huge baby belly that need to get toned before i turn 29!!!
Well anyways good luck to me, and if anyone wants to join me in this journey please feel free to contact me below!

Bed share.....

So it's 3:35am and yes I still bed share with my daughter. I'm so tired n sleepy I forget n set her on the outside of the bed. My baby girl (16 months old) is a mover at night. She starts yelling ... She's on the floor. I feel so bad for her but at the same time think uuuggghhh I could avoid this. Tomorrow we will start her sleeping in her own bed.
Thanks for allowing me to vent. Back to bed I go.